I don't know what it is about the dark seeded soul that exists deep down in all of us. All I know is that it's what makes The Three Stooges funny as well as a bunch of other idiotic juvenile behavior so much fun.
One of our very early escapades occurred when my modest little company office'd in the White Swan Building before they transformed it into The House of Blues. We might as well have been five guys living in a barn with computers. It was always hot in the summer, cold in the winter and every time it rained, water would splash out of an old drain pipe onto one of our desks. It was still a very cool building and even though it was a bit rustic, we had some of the best times of our lives working there.
One of the guys that office'd with us was a film and video editor by the name of James Jeter. James had ordered a bicycle rack for his car and we were told that it would be delivered to the office so we were to watch out for it in case he wasn't there to sign for it.
It was a large box that arrived and when the delivery man dropped it off from the dolly, you could hear the parts rattle around inside. I quickly signed for it and we all came out of our offices to stare at the large brown box now sitting in the middle of our work space.
Funny thing about creative people as we have all kinds of tools that normal office folk don't have lying about. I quickly grabbed an X-ACTO blade, which we used back then for cutting out paste up and mounting comps, and carefully sliced the tape apart like a surgeon so as not to see any damage. With that, we all removed the parts and put them on the floor. "Here's my idea," I said. "I'll go down to the basement and pick up some old pipes I saw down there and we'll put those in the box. You guys remove a few parts and hide them away where James will never find them."
We carefully placed the old pipes in the box as well as some of the original parts and then sealed up the box using packing tape cutting carefully so as to align with the original tape. And now the waiting would begin.
The next day, James bounced in the office extremely excited about his brand new purchase. So much so, that he immediately tore it open and began trying to put it together. All of us kept quiet while pretending to work.
"What the hell? This doesn't even look like the same kind of metal." (Sounds of rustling directions heard while grumbling continues in the common area.) "This doesn't fit together. This is all wrong."
One of our very early escapades occurred when my modest little company office'd in the White Swan Building before they transformed it into The House of Blues. We might as well have been five guys living in a barn with computers. It was always hot in the summer, cold in the winter and every time it rained, water would splash out of an old drain pipe onto one of our desks. It was still a very cool building and even though it was a bit rustic, we had some of the best times of our lives working there.
One of the guys that office'd with us was a film and video editor by the name of James Jeter. James had ordered a bicycle rack for his car and we were told that it would be delivered to the office so we were to watch out for it in case he wasn't there to sign for it.
It was a large box that arrived and when the delivery man dropped it off from the dolly, you could hear the parts rattle around inside. I quickly signed for it and we all came out of our offices to stare at the large brown box now sitting in the middle of our work space.
Funny thing about creative people as we have all kinds of tools that normal office folk don't have lying about. I quickly grabbed an X-ACTO blade, which we used back then for cutting out paste up and mounting comps, and carefully sliced the tape apart like a surgeon so as not to see any damage. With that, we all removed the parts and put them on the floor. "Here's my idea," I said. "I'll go down to the basement and pick up some old pipes I saw down there and we'll put those in the box. You guys remove a few parts and hide them away where James will never find them."
We carefully placed the old pipes in the box as well as some of the original parts and then sealed up the box using packing tape cutting carefully so as to align with the original tape. And now the waiting would begin.
The next day, James bounced in the office extremely excited about his brand new purchase. So much so, that he immediately tore it open and began trying to put it together. All of us kept quiet while pretending to work.
"What the hell? This doesn't even look like the same kind of metal." (Sounds of rustling directions heard while grumbling continues in the common area.) "This doesn't fit together. This is all wrong."
Phone Call: "Yea, this is James Jeter and I ordered a bike rack from you guys and there
are pieces in this box that don't even look like they're supposed to be in here. They don't fit and one of the pipes is really old and rusty."
At this point none of us could take it anymore and with one grand burst, laughter exploded from every corner of the office.
"Oh you guys. Very funny. Ha ha ha."
Over the years while officing with many creative people, I have found that I'm not the only one who has a problem with this kind of behavior. In fact, I believe the more creative you are, the more sinister you can be.
Which leads me to one of my favorite people in the whole world. His name is David Thorne and I think he just may be a creative genius. Dark...yes but a genius just the same.
Even though David is a senior level art director and designer from Australia, he has made quite a name for himself on the internet surrounding his numerous antics. With a best selling book on The New York Times List titled, The Internet is a Playground, my bicycle rack stunt is but a mere drop in his great bucket of quality shenanigans. I highly recommend the purchase but only if you read it while not drinking any type of beverages as they are likely to end up spewing from your mouth.
The below email chain is one of my favorite creations by David Thorne. It's a back and forth dialogue between he and and co-worker who has lost her cat.
Enjoy!
Missing Missy
By David Thorne
Copyright © David Thorne 2008-2012 All rights reserved.
Copyright © David Thorne 2008-2012 All rights reserved.
______________________________________________________________________
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.15am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Poster
Hi
I opened the screen door yesterday and my cat got out and has been missing since then so I was wondering if you are not to busy you could make a poster for me. It has to be A4 and I will photocopy it and put it around my suburb this afternoon.
This is the only photo of her I have she answers to the name Missy and is black and white and about 8 months old. missing on Harper street and my phone number.
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.15am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Poster
Hi
I opened the screen door yesterday and my cat got out and has been missing since then so I was wondering if you are not to busy you could make a poster for me. It has to be A4 and I will photocopy it and put it around my suburb this afternoon.
This is the only photo of her I have she answers to the name Missy and is black and white and about 8 months old. missing on Harper street and my phone number.
Thanks Shan.
______________________________________________________________________From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.26am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Poster
Dear Shannon,
That is shocking news. Luckily I was sitting down when I read your email and not half way up a ladder or tree. How are you holding up? I am surprised you managed to attend work at all what with thinking about Missy out there cold, frightened and alone... possibly lying on the side of the road, her back legs squashed by a vehicle, calling out "Shannon, where are you?" Although I have two clients expecting completed work this afternoon, I will, of course, drop everything and do whatever it takes to facilitate the speedy return of Missy.
Regards, David.
______________________________________________________________________
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.37am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Poster
yeah ok thanks. I know you dont like cats but I am really worried about mine. I have to leave at 1pm today.
______________________________________________________________________
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.17am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Poster
Dear Shannon,
I never said I don't like cats. Once, having been invited to a party, I went clothes shopping beforehand and bought a pair of expensive G-Star boots. They were two sizes too small but I wanted them so badly I figured I could just wear them without socks and cut my toenails very short. As the party was only a few blocks from my place, I decided to walk. After the first block, I lost all feeling in my feet. Arriving at the party, I stumbled into a guy named Steven, spilling Malibu & coke onto his white Wham 'Choose Life' t-shirt, and he punched me. An hour or so after the incident, Steven sat down in a chair already occupied by a cat. The surprised cat clawed and snarled causing Steven to leap out of the chair, slip on a rug and strike his forehead onto the corner of a speaker; resulting in a two inch open gash. In its shock, the cat also defecated, leaving Steven with a wet brown stain down the back of his beige cargo pants. I liked that cat.
Attached poster as requested.
Regards, David.
______________________________________________________________________
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.24am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster
yeah thats not what I was looking for at all. it looks like a movie and how come the photo of Missy is so small?
______________________________________________________________________
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.28am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster
Dear Shannon,
It's a design thing. The cat is lost in the negative space.
Regards, David.
______________________________________________________________________
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.33am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster
Thats just stupid. Can you do it properly please? I am extremely emotional over this and was up all night in tears. you seem to think it is funny. Can you make the photo bigger please and fix the text and do it in colour please. Thanks.
______________________________________________________________________
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.46am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster
Dear Shannon,
Having worked with designers for a few years now, I would have assumed you understood, despite our vague suggestions otherwise, we do not welcome constructive criticism. I don't come downstairs and tell you how to send text messages, log onto Facebook and look out of the window. I am willing to overlook this faux pas due to you no doubt being preoccupied with thoughts of Missy attempting to make her way home across busy intersections or being trapped in a drain as it slowly fills with water. I spent three days down a well once but that was just for fun.
I have amended and attached the poster as per your instructions.
Regards, David.
______________________________________________________________________
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.59am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster
This is worse than the other one. can you make it so it shows the whole photo of Missy and delete the stupid text that says missing missy off it? I just want it to say lost.
______________________________________________________________________
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.14am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster
______________________________________________________________________
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.21am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster
yeah can you do the poster or not? I just want a photo and the word lost and the telephone number and when and where she was lost and her name. Not like a movie poster or anything stupid. I have to leave early today. If it was your cat I would help you. Thanks.
______________________________________________________________________
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.32am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Awww
Dear Shannon,
I don't have a cat. I once agreed to look after a friend's cat for a week but after he dropped it off at my apartment and explained the concept of kitty litter, I kept the cat in a closed cardboard box in the shed and forgot about it. If I wanted to feed something and clean faeces, I wouldn't have put my mother in that home after her stroke. A week later, when my friend came to collect his cat, I pretended that I was not home and mailed the box to him. Apparently I failed to put enough stamps on the package and he had to collect it from the post office and pay eighteen dollars. He still goes on about that sometimes, people need to learn to let go.
I have attached the amended version of your poster as per your detailed instructions.
Regards, David.
______________________________________________________________________
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.47am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Awww
Thats not my cat. where did you get that picture from? That cat is orange. I gave you a photo of my cat.
______________________________________________________________________
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.58am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Awww
I know, but that one is cute. As Missy has quite possibly met any one of several violent ends, it is possible you might get a better cat out of this. If anybody calls and says "I haven't seen your orange cat but I did find a black and white one with its hind legs run over by a car, do you want it?" you can politely decline and save yourself a costly veterinarian bill.
I knew someone who had a basset hound that had its hind legs removed after an accident and it had to walk around with one of those little buggies with wheels. If it had been my dog I would have asked for all its legs to be removed and replaced with wheels and had a remote control installed. I could charge neighbourhood kids for rides and enter it in races. If I did the same with a horse I could drive it to work. I would call it Steven.
Regards, David.
______________________________________________________________________
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.07pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Awww
Please just use the photo I gave you.
______________________________________________________________________
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.22pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww
______________________________________________________________________
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.34pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww
I didnt say there was a reward. I dont have $2000 dollars. What did you even put that there for? Apart from that it is perfect can you please remove the reward bit. Thanks Shan.
______________________________________________________________________Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.34pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww
I didnt say there was a reward. I dont have $2000 dollars. What did you even put that there for? Apart from that it is perfect can you please remove the reward bit. Thanks Shan.
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.42pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww
______________________________________________________________________
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.51pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww
Can you just please take the reward bit off altogether? I have to leave in ten minutes and I still have to make photocopies of it.
______________________________________________________________________Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.51pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww
Can you just please take the reward bit off altogether? I have to leave in ten minutes and I still have to make photocopies of it.
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.56pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww
______________________________________________________________________
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 1.03pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww
Fine. That will have to do.
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